By: Bob Barney REPRINTED FROM July 2009
I have had a “come to Jesus” moment. Seriously, I have decided that the democrats have been right all along. It's the government’s job to protect us from ourselves. I am now proposing sweeping new laws that I think Obama and company will truly like. I even think that maybe 51% of the population will go along with this plan, if of course you include the ACORN illegal, fake, and down right dead voters! This simple 10 point plan should solve every problem that faces us today, so much so, I am going to name it “The Final Solution.” The concept is based on the honey bee culture that we evolved from a couple billion years ago.
- UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE: Let’s be honest, there are too many people on earth. These people fart, pollute and are probably causing global warming and perhaps leading to the extinction of green toads. Since we know from science that we descended from these toads (let’s call them “great gramps”) it is our duty to protect all of our ancestors from the damage, we are doing to the goddess, that we call, "mother earth". After all, she is the true living God that brings life to all creatures.
That being said, my proposal is to ban doctors, except for a few to treat and keep alive all of those that are too important to die, namely the world leaders, industrialist, and bankers. Everyone else needs to die whenever “mother earth” calls him or her home. After all, we all know that everyone is reincarnated after they die anyway. Why worry about doctors when you can be a fruit fly when you come back, or if you are really lucky, a sacred COW! My spine is just tingling at the very thought of the idea.
This new Universal Health Care plan would save us TRILLIONS of dollars that are needlessly spent on the selfish notion of trying to live forever. Like the honeybee that dies whenever she stings something to protect the sacred colony, it is our duty to die when we get sick. We have lived for billions of years without doctors, why should we have them now? There is no need for “sin taxes” on cigarettes, or sugar or fatty foods, as there will be no cost of health care. Of course, since the government will own all businesses, including food companies, they will not produce sugar, fat or meat products for us anyway. Those commodities, along with cigarettes, will only be provided for our leaders, who deserve them and are entitled to them for their hard work for the cause.
- Ban all cars, truck, planes, tractors and motorized boats. We started walking on two's a billion years ago or more and lived perfect 20-year life-spans without the inconvenience of car payments, or having to experience crooked car repair shops that earn their livelihood off of cheating everyone that comes in for an oil change! I know this is true, I saw it on 60 minutes, 20-20, and Dateline! They never lie, they always tell us the truth. The Plain Truth is that the only people who never lie to us are President Obama, and the main stream media. Everyone else, especially doctors, auto mechanics, and lawyers all lie to us all the time! The list would also include of course FOX news.
By banning all of these vehicles (with of course the exception of Air Force One, and a few SUV’s for the world’s important leaders) we will save countless trillions of dollars on useless modes of transportation. We should also kill all horses (their farts, after all, are worse than ours, you know). We can walk instead. Walking will make us healthier too. We might even live an extra 5 or 6 years and die well beyond our 25th birthday--if we are really lucky.
- All HOMES MUST BE DESTROYED and replaced by grass or mud huts: Are you getting it yet? See the money we will be saving? Ban construction on all new homes, and phase out all existing homes in say, 20 years. Stop all electricity production immediately, except for several small water generated plants that provide electricity for those too important to go without. Also, of course for the government owned theatres where people can walk to, gather and watch the news, approved movies that stress the importance of homosexuality and pedophilia for society to become more enlightened. After all, how many queers produce kids? And most children that have sex with adults can’t get pregnant anyway—they are too young! This is not always foolproof as Mary Kay Letourneau found out--- several times now. Heterosexual behavior between childbearing adults must be shown in a bad light. In this way, we may be able to convince boys and girls who, for some unknown reason, choose to stay “straight,” and get themselves fixed by age 6 or 7.
- Require abortions for anyone that is not a member of the leadership: I cannot stress how important this is. Until we can convince our children to become homosexuals or pedophiles, or at least get "fixed", we must mandate that all pregnancies be terminated. Preferably this should be in the 9th month or upon birth, to underscore the importance of the sacrifice to “mother earth.” After all, if one terminates a child before she “shows,” nobody will appreciate the sacrifice the woman made for the good of mankind and “mother earth,” Goddess of all living beings, as well as fruits and nuts.
This of course, does not apply to those who never harm the earth, such as important leaders, who are needed to breed the next generation of leaders or to those few other exempted people: namely, Mexicans, blacks, Puerto Ricans or any other group known to vote Democrat. Exceptions of course must be made for these groups, as for some unknown genetic reason, a few members become traitors to the good of society and start longing for so-called freedom and capitalism. These people must be neutered immediately upon discovery, or killed.
- OUTLAW personal Property Rights; Everyone works for the government and all private property rights are to be banned. Property ownership only leads to greed, and after all nobody should have the right to “own” a portion of “mother earth.” All jobs will be government jobs. No pay should be expected. After all, every need will be provided for, so there will be no need to pay for anything. Good news! NO MORE TAXES! President Obama will have been able to keep his pledge on no taxes for everyone! Your job will grant you all basic needs: a hut, your daily allotment of food (not to exceed 1500 calories), your medical care (which will be none) and your education and entertainment. You have no need for money! It’s like being in heaven, without the inconvenience of dying!
- Mandate Vegetarianism: Again, the only exception would be important leaders like Al Gore, Barry (aka Barack) Obama, and those few saviors living among us. They must be given these rights to eat anything they wish, because they are just too important to be treated as the rest of us.
- KILL ALL JEWS: This goes without saying. Jews are the cause for all ills on earth. After all they gave us Jesus Christ, the biggest troublemaker to world government that was ever born!
- Kill ALL JEWS: We just got to make this two of the ten points. It is too important of an issue to overlook. JEWS must be eradicated! I would say if you are 1/64 Jew, then off to the camps you go! Good DNA testing will ensure compliance without that many errors.
- KILL ALL CHRISTIANS: Now this is harder than 7 and 8. Jews can be discovered through DNA, but Christians may lie, and we know of no DNA test that can determine if one is a member of this most dangerous sect. They hold certain views that can destroy everything that enlightened people everywhere are fighting for. Like that notion we are created in God’s image! Where the heck did they get this BS? We don't look anything like mother earth! What a stupid notion, which only leads to humans thinking that they are “special” and above everything else on the planet. This is dangerous, because enlightened people know that only they themselves are above anything else, but ordinary folks are not! The earthworm, gnat and tick posses the same rights that we do! I have found that the best way to eradicate Christians is not to burn them on the stake, or feed them to the lions; Nero tried this to no avail; but the best way is to join their movements and slowly get them to adopt every doctrine of mother earth worship. Pagan holidays, like Christmas and Easter and other doctrines that will eventually lead to the end of this cult. In this way only can we destroy this movement from within for all time! Infiltration and indoctrination are our ally here. Make the churches marry homosexual couples. In fact, make their entire priesthood comprised of either homosexuals or pedophiles, to insure the complete rejection of this most dangerous religion by the masses. Offer BLANK BIBLES so everyone can make sure that they don’t break any of those stupid “thou shall not’s” in the Bible. They can simply write their own scriptures. For example: 1 Barney Frank 2:33 “Thou shall lay with a boy of any age, in the same manner that thouest layeth with a man.” And 1 Chris Dodd 2:5: “Thou shalt rob from they neighbor, as long as thou art a member of Congress.” See how easily that works!
- The last is simple: I will call it the duty to die: We all have the right to die now, but we should also have the right to accept the duty to die! Whenever some of us lives too long and becomes a burden to society, or remains healthy in spite of the lack of medical care, say, by their early thirties, these old-timers should be able to choose to die. Of course, this rule would not apply to important world leaders and industrialist who are too important to die, but for the rest, when we reach 40 or maybe 50, and somehow survive all the pandemic diseases, then we should have the right to die. Now I realize that since most will not have the sense to make this choice, a government CZAR (the "RIGHT TO DIE CZAR") should have the power to inform those who want to die (but don’t know it yet), that they actually want to die! Of course, many may not know that they really want to die, but that is why we must have a newly formed ACORN group called DEATH. DEATH gets the order from the DEATH CZAR that so and so want’s to die, but doesn’t know it yet. DEATH visits the person at his/her hut, and immediately slays them to prevent any needless suffering. Simple, fast and easy.
That’s the plan. I am now a believer! I am late to this new ideology but I now fully understand it, and can accept my fate in life. Heil Obama. Heil Mother Earth, and goodbye the trappings of freedom, cause as the liberal icon singer Janis Joplin once stated, just before she killed herself with drugs, “freedom’s just another word for nothing else to lose…”