Would Martin Luther King Jr. be satisfied with the America we have today — and would he like the way we recognize him with a holiday and street names?
The ghost of “Martin Luther King Jr.,” played by Kenan Thompson, paid a visit to a boy trying to write a school paper on the upcoming holiday during this week’s “Saturday Night Live.”
But it was ‘MLK,’ not the kid, who wound up learning a lot during the sketch — and he didn’t like most of what he learned.
When he hears that the first black president is named Barack Obama, ‘MLK’ blurts out, “Barack O-what now? He sounds like a Kenyan Muslim!”
“MLK” gets hit with a slew of downer news — the boulevards that bear his name aren’t in the nicest neighborhoods, “Selma” got snubbed for Oscar consideration, and Macklemore, “like, the whitest dude ever,” is the face of American hip-hop.
“We’re still climbing that mountain,” “MLK” says sadly.
The boy has at least one thing to cheer up the civil rights leader’s ghost: “You got your own holiday and three white presidents have to share one!”
What a year it has been in the news, especially since the architect of Obamacare has let us all know that we Americans are just too stupid.
In that spirit, here’s a look back at the dumbest and silliest moments of 2014. And because we’re all so stupid, don’t forget to keep clicking on the black bar at the bottom of each entry to reveal the next delicious news story.
Let’s start off with the adventures of Lois Lerner.
For those who might not know her name, Lois Lerner is the retired IRS honcho who allegedly targeted conservative groups, and then all her emails were said to mysteriously vanish. She famously took the Fifth Amendment to avoid answering questions about the IRS scandal.
Then on Sept. 29, author Jason Mattera tracked her down and chased her as she was walking her dogs in Bethesda, Maryland, only to find Ms. Lerner apparently doesn’t like being targeted herself.
Lerner quickly sought refuge at a neighbor’s house, but the neighbor refused to let her in.
Lois Lerner begs her neighbor to let her inside.
“These guys are the press and they’re not leaving me alone. I just want to come in for a second,” Lerner pleaded.
When the neighbor’s husband showed up on the front lawn, he said, “I don’t want her in the house.”
“I wouldn’t blame you. I wouldn’t want her in my house either,” Mattera responded. “She might bring the government after you.”
Greetings everyone, and welcome to another edition of the news you wish were the news every single day of the year.
I have to admit that 2010 has kind of a dark theme to some of the funniest events, especially concerning President Obama and his personal plague of vermin.
I mean, come on. Have we ever seen a commander in chief with such a magnetic attraction for flies, bees and rats?
White House buzz
Let's start with the fly that just couldn't seem to get enough of Mr. Obama. During a speech by the president June 22, this single insect found Obama's words so enthralling, it just had to become one with the face of "the One."
In fact, despite the president's best efforts to shoo the fly away, the pest made a succesful landing on Obama's face, prompting many websites to dub him "Lord of the Flies."
President Obama's official 2010 portrait: "Come fly with me."
Radio and TV host Glenn Beck remarked: "Does he have nerve endings in his face? Seriously, have you ever had a fly walk across your face and you left it there?"
Now that we know Obama's not a no-fly zone, it's also strange to recall how a swarm of bees delayed his important court business on a basketball court.
According to the Hill, a swarm of "thousands of bees" gathered outside the White House in May. The small army of insects hovered as Obama tried to leave 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue to shoot hoop at Fort McNair. And by the time the president returned at noon, the bees were mysteriously nowhere in sight.
Just days later, some sort of rodent scurried in front of the president as he was delivering a speech on the steps of the White House.
There's so many times we've crashed and burned, Seems like the colonel would finally learn Our Russian jets don't make good submarines. We fly out to protect our nation, And use seat bottoms for floatation. The water's warm, and we're good swimmers too. So kiss me and smile for me, Call my folks in Tripoli, Tell them that Khadafi made me go. I'm a Libyan on a jet plane, Don't know if I'll be back again. Muammar, I hate to go. Aircraft carrier J.F.K. Come to blow our chemical plant away, But we keep telling them it's just pharmaceutical. So kiss me and smile for me, Call my folks in Tripoli, Tell them that Khadafi made me go. I'm a Libyan on a jet plane, Don't know if I'll be back again. Muammar, I hate to go. Now the time has come to leave you, One more time let me kiss you, Then close your eyes, I'll be on my way. Dream about the days to come, When I won't need my mobile phone, Hope it doesn't blow you're face away. So miss me and pray for me, Bow down to the East for me, Kneel and gently kiss my butt goodbye. I'm a Libyan on a jet plane, Don't know if I'll be back again. Muammar, I hate to go. A Libyan on a jet plane, Don't know if I'll be back again.
WHEN the creators of “Airplane!”
were lining up actors for their rollicking parody three decades ago,
some of the straight-arrow character actors that ended up in the cast
worried about the harm it might do to their careers. One of the most
skittish participants: Peter Graves, the taciturn “Mission:
Impossible” star who played the movie’s pilot, a kindly veteran who
welcomes a little boy named Billy into the cockpit and asks questions
like “Ever seen a grown man naked?” Read More>>>>>>>